It's on those significant days...birthdays, holidays and the like...where we tend to feel the worst about our "singleness". Add to that the expectation that we "shouldn't" be alone...especially on days like this. Well...it's not so much about the day to be perfectly honest. No, it's about a fear.
Time to take the bull by the horns...
"Survive" a night alone...and find that you lived! Actually, find that you thrived!!!
I did this to myself when I first realized my desperate fear. I actually spent a New Year's Eve...ALONE! I was really anxious about it because it seemed so "unacceptable". But it was actually one of the most wonderful nights. I got stuff together for a spa night (including painting my toes). I made a great dinner. I rented a movie. I even got a journal for evaluating the previous year and making some goals for the new one, and I spent some time doing that.
Oh my gosh!!! It was such a "peace in my heart" night (and I wasn't even intoxicated...hehe). I really felt like I was being "re-aligned".
OK...but yes...it was hard at first. I really had to fight off the "you are alone" thoughts and feelings sometimes, but my goodness, when I did???...when I told myself the truth???...when I spent time taking care of myself???...it produced such peace.
So...if you haven't done so, DO IT! I dare you! ;)
Tuesday
Make a List and Check it Twice!!!
When I realized that I was only surviving life without my "him", I was horrified. Clearly, my heart was screaming that I was meant for more than a life of plodding...and hiding. So I made a list. Well, actually I had a real heart-to-heart with myself first, telling precious "me" that I was worth so much more. I even forgave myself and found some peace in that place.
And THEN I made my list. :)
If you've seen the movie "The Bucket List", you know where I'm going. Although my "Life List" is full of simple and complicated dreams. It's constantly evolving as I discover more and add those items. I have to tell you that it gives me such pleasure to cross something off...and such excitement when I find something else that I simply must do.
I think I'm up to 70 items, and I've crossed off over 20 to date. Here are some examples:
1) Learn more about Greek mythology
2) See a swan
3) Ride in a twin-engine airplane
4) Get a hot stone massage
5) Go to Sitka, Alaska
6) Smoke a cigar
7) Make Indian food
8) Get some artistic nude photos done
9) Jump in a fountain
10) Get a tattoo
It goes on and on...
I know it may seem trivial, but there's someone magical in each of us. Sometimes even the littlest thing helps her be invited to come out and play...and stay!!!...even when life isn't exactly how we'd planned. ESPECIALLY when life isn't what we'd planned!!
And THEN I made my list. :)
If you've seen the movie "The Bucket List", you know where I'm going. Although my "Life List" is full of simple and complicated dreams. It's constantly evolving as I discover more and add those items. I have to tell you that it gives me such pleasure to cross something off...and such excitement when I find something else that I simply must do.
I think I'm up to 70 items, and I've crossed off over 20 to date. Here are some examples:
1) Learn more about Greek mythology
2) See a swan
3) Ride in a twin-engine airplane
4) Get a hot stone massage
5) Go to Sitka, Alaska
6) Smoke a cigar
7) Make Indian food
8) Get some artistic nude photos done
9) Jump in a fountain
10) Get a tattoo
It goes on and on...
I know it may seem trivial, but there's someone magical in each of us. Sometimes even the littlest thing helps her be invited to come out and play...and stay!!!...even when life isn't exactly how we'd planned. ESPECIALLY when life isn't what we'd planned!!
Start to LIVE without him...
Here's what gets me...women who don't know how to live, be secure, be happy, without...a "him". (I say this as an expert on the matter...haha!) It's almost like we get it in our heads that the world can't spin without "him". Hence, all our depression, desperation...of course, we don't like to see ourselves in that light...or admit that's the falsehood we live by.
But, here's the scoop...if you can't learn to love yourself and love life without him, how in the world will you truly get the most out of life with him???
It's time to start "meeting" you. Let her dance. Let her shine. And don't let circumstances hinder your glory even one bit.
But, here's the scoop...if you can't learn to love yourself and love life without him, how in the world will you truly get the most out of life with him???
It's time to start "meeting" you. Let her dance. Let her shine. And don't let circumstances hinder your glory even one bit.
Monday
Here Goes...
So, I just turned 35 years old. I also just survived the holidays. If you are single, you know what I mean by that. All the looks from everyone, wishing for you to find your man. All the conversations, discussing how you could or should make it "poof" into existence.
Ya, if that doesn't make a person feel like a loser, I don't know what else does.
The thing is that it's all mostly harmless. Just people who love you that want you to have what they have...or what they hope they have. And mostly people for whom "normal" equates with "married". Thus, what you lack and what is abnormal evoke...pity.
Add in the fact that someday I actually would like to marry...and they all know it...
So...until that day when my Mr. Right comes...if he does...I refuse to live a pity-full life. I'm re-defining "normal"...and thriving.
Ya, if that doesn't make a person feel like a loser, I don't know what else does.
The thing is that it's all mostly harmless. Just people who love you that want you to have what they have...or what they hope they have. And mostly people for whom "normal" equates with "married". Thus, what you lack and what is abnormal evoke...pity.
Add in the fact that someday I actually would like to marry...and they all know it...
So...until that day when my Mr. Right comes...if he does...I refuse to live a pity-full life. I'm re-defining "normal"...and thriving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
